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Doppelg​ä​ngers

from Self​-​Talk EP by The Answers In Between

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about

This is most people’s favorite, which is delightful and slightly concerning considering it's one of the darker songs I've written! It’s about a mutually obsessive high school relationship (as those are) that took place online - I’d written about it before but hadn't specifically mentioned the way it led to me discovering my gender identity.

It's inspired by LOW’s final albums Double Negative and Hey What, traditionally structured songwriting corrupted by distortion. Also inspired/validated by Casey Plett’s short story Youth and Devon Price’s essays about his dysphoria. I know the themes are similar but I promise I didn’t hear Twin Fantasy in full until after the EP was completed!

lyrics

We built a bridge
So we could always be connected
Joining all our thoughts and senses
Wander between and never leave

A state of bliss
We’d switch accounts and share our passwords
We could turn into each other
Total access was all we’d need

And maybe I could see your reflection in the mirror
Find safety in the way I dissolved and disappeared

I look for you in everyone
When I find you I run
When I find you I run

I look for you in everyone
When I find you I run
When I find you I run

Late nights we hid
I looked at your eyes you looked at mine
In silence most of the time
The only place I where I could breathe

Don’t let them in
We’ll switch to texts when they’re in the room
They wouldn’t get what we’re up to
It’s those moments I still grieve

I look for it in everyone
Til I find it and run
Til I find it and run
every day structured around you
I'd do anything to keep you

I’d take the blame
For everything that you did wrong
I could be everything you want
So I could hide out in your body

I’d forget my shame
I’d have questions, you’d answer them
Why did I ask and ask again?
I told the truth, at least you believed me

What would I say, what would you do
if I ever let you,
if you left me or if I ever left you?
I look for you in everyone
Even when I should run
Even when I should run

Yeah why would I get out
Who would hear and still want me around
Nothing I could talk about
In my head and on the screen but nowhere to be found

You cut the nerves
The way I processed didn’t help
Staying close made me hate myself
All the wrong lessons received

I said you deserved
Everything I had and more
Isn’t that what I asked for
To be at a stranger’s mercy?

every day structured around you
Anything to keep you
every day structured around you
Anything to keep you

The jokes we escalated
You said you never hated it
Still the only one who never felt I was too much

What I try to recreate
And don’t know til it’s too late
There must be other ways to love

I probably should hate you
But I looked through your messages too
I’ve forgiven us, it wasn’t our faults
But I still miss the feeling, I still want to dissolve

credits

from Self​-​Talk EP, released April 8, 2022

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The Answers In Between New York, New York

FKA Fell From The Tree, AKA Transient Peak

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